Don't Bloody Piss Your Teacher Off!

I was kinda upset today, but at the same time I knew I might have been a tad sensitive about the whole issue. Maybe I'm taking work way too seriously. Hell, I ALWAYS take work seriously!

I gave my adult students an assignment last week for today's lesson. They have to bring their favourite English song each and then do a presentation on what the song is about, the mood it creates, how they can relate to the song etc...

There were 3 students in my class today. It was a Pre-Intermediate level. There was a Jewish couple and business owners, S and A, whom I really like and a nice young lady, D, who is a marketing executive in a medical company.

S went first and we listened to a love song of her choice. She then talked about how the song was the first to be played at her wedding and that for 10 good years and still counting, it has been the ringing tone used everytime her husband calls her. That's why I like the couple, especially S. It's not true that only the students learn in class, teachers do learn from the students too - that I strongly believe. S and A showed me the beauty of 20 over years of married life. I love the way they look at each other and tease each other and laugh. S, especially just radiates of positivity and love. They taught me alot about life and beauty of love and family. S makes me laugh alot and vice versa. She's no dainty woman, she speaks her mind and carries her full figure with such confidence and a dash of arrogance.

My goodness I'm really getting carried away here lol...Anyways, next came D who unsurprisingly, didn't bring any song. D's always busy with work and yes she has a good career going for her, going to congresses all over the cities non stop. She used S's fancy phone and chose a song from there and played it in class during her presentation. It was my all time favourite, She by Elvis Costello.

Obviously unprepared, she went on to say how the song was all about a woman and how it seemed the singer was really in love with her. She continued saying it was a lovely love song and the woman was very lucky indeed.

During presentations, I always try to get my students to talk more because most would just get 'stuck' or be satisfied to give a short and simple speech. They usually get discouraged coz of their limited knowledge of English but this is something I always push for them to overcome. I always aim to boost their confidence in conversing in English and the only way is to PRACTICE!

I asked D questions like is ıt scary to love somebody so much and to elaborate her opinion on that. She replied yes that one shouldn't go crazy in love. Yup, exactly one sentence. I then asked her if women are usually victims in love compared to the men and whether men are emotionally stronger when it comes to love.

She looked at me exasperated and said, 'I am boring.' I knew she meant 'I am bored'. Smiling, I asked her why and she said it was all too much on love and emotions. I was pissed but one thing I learnt from my humble teaching experience is to never show negative emotions especially to adult students coz some would not think twice to use that against you.

After the last presentation by A, again smiling, I thanked them for their efforts and sharing their opinions with me. Not really letting go of the issue, I told the students that if they don't like to talk about love, they can bring a different type of song to begin with, that there was no restrictions at all for the assignment and that was why I asked them to bring THEIR favourite songs. On that note, I just settled my eyes on D for a couple of seconds and smiled. Oh how deceiving smiles can be!

I know I might take this a little too personally but nothing irritates me more than having students telling me they are bored. IN MY CLASS. Turkish students are outspoken and they are frank. They say what they wanna say, period. I took this personally coz I am rather a perfectionist. I MUST be that sought after teacher, the best one in the school. My lessons are usually filled with laughters, save to say they're not just my own.

Another thing that annoys me was the fact that teachers DO work their asses off and students DON'T realise that! We don't sashay to class, batting our eyelashes and just pick a topic on the spot and just do it! We freaking plan our topic and battle with our inner selves debating whether the topic will engage the type of students that we have. We plan our lesson plans thoroughly and are always thinking of fresh ideas, epecially for ADULT students cos they normally hate repetition unlike children, who need them in order to drill new info in their heads. We constantly do research coz well... we are EXPECTED to have answers, it's like we are the walking Wikipedia.

Thus when we ask you to do a gawd damn assignment, just bloody do it! It doesn't take 1 hour to find your bloody favourite song from your stack of cds or mp3, if it does I don't think that's REALLY your favourite song is it?! So don't freaking tell me you are bored of talking about love and emotions when you played SHE BY ELVİS COSTELLO in my class! Geez that song always nearly brings me to tears what else can I ask about pertaining to it, GLOBAL WARMING?!!

Later on during our break, all of us had 'cay' (Turkish for tea) at the balcony and D said,'Omg, we've attended this course for 6 weeks already!' I looked at her and went like,'And.........?' She continued saying when the other songs were being played earlier she couldn't even pick up the words of the lyrics. -.- I didn't know why but I took it personally again, wasn't that like saying omg, 6 weeks learning English with THIS teacher and I couldn't even pick up some songs' lyrics!

I put down my cay and that was it at the balcony I kinda lectured them, showing I meant business. I didn't even care that S and A are much much older than me, I wanted to have my say and I did. To address D's concern, I told her random songs are the worst way to gauge her capability in English. Most songs are not grammatically accurate and they use a lot of slangs and short forms in order to accomodate the melody and rhythm as well. That was why Jane Austen was never a songwriter nor Eminem, an author. I told them all if they want to gauge their comprehension, they should do it through the proper channel - listen to BBC, you can never go wrong.

I asked each and everyone of them if they felt they've improved from the 1st lesson till now and all of them said yes so that was good, I kinda breathed again lol. I didn't stop there though, I went on and on like I was lecturing my child. All eyes were glued on me and for some funny reason, I felt as though they were all getting motivated listening to me! They were nodding passionately in agreement to what I was saying, even D. They all looked serious but inspired. Wow. Amazing. To think I could come up with some 'inspiring' damn speech just because I was pissed off.

It's definitely easy to blame the teachers for your lack of improvement but seriously, we DON'T have magic wands, you can't make you a whiz by or within a period of time! If you can't help yourselves, neither can we. We can only afford to teach but you guys should work hard at it too.

Before I ended the class, I divided the board into 3 sections and told each of them to take a section and handed them each a marker. I gave them vocabulary quiz on what I've covered before. The whole board was covered with little writings. I went through their mistakes, which was quite a significant number and before I wrapped up my lesson, I smiled and told them all those countless words on the board didn't even add up to 1/5 of the vocab I've taught them so far, for the past 6 weeks so get moving and revise EVERY SINGLE thing covered coz there'll be a surprise test or quız at next lesson. Now are you gonna piss the teacher again?? *roll eyes*




xo;
V

Classroom Chill

I was photocopying some handouts yesterday when my colleague, A, came over to say hi. She just finished her lesson she was supposed to substitute for. She told me something rather disturbing, something I fear for our young generation.

The 11 year olds she taught were supposed to write a report on err...murder. I know, I know, of all things, MURDER??!!! It was part of an exercise taken off the book they were using.

She told me the kids got quite 'creative' and started writing about limbs being cut off. She felt it was ok except for one. When the kid handed her his writing, he told her she was going to be angry with him. After reading, she realised why.

She wouldn't tell me the full contents of his writing but judging from the petrified look on her face and her saucer-like eyes I guessed it must have been over the top.

'Was it something sexual?' I asked her. She said she didn't wanna go into much details but the kid was talking about male castration in details. Oh my freaking gawd. I had a horrified look on my face too when she told me that.

She had a talk with him after that telling him it was't normal behaviour to be writing such sick, gory things. C'mon the kid is 11, he shouldn't be writing about such stuff!!! He clearly didnt put much thought on how SERIOUS the matter is.

All this exposion of sex and violence through the media is really doing major damage to young children. Movies like Saw in all its blood and gory don't help either. Sure there might be age restriction but one could easily buy them off some illegal dvd sellers on the streets!

Yes I worry about our younger generation, whether they'll grow up to be decent and uprıght ındıvıduals. I worry about how screwed up the world's turning into and how kids these days are not enjoying childhood full of candies and rainbows. They are losing their innocence at such a young age, they are exposed to this sick world prematurely thinking it's NORMAL. No, it's NOT normal.

If you have kids or are surrounded by kids, please do protect their innocence for the medias are certainly not giving a damn.

Stuck in Midst of Footie Craze!

I'm here now in my usual hangout cafe, not too far way from my place. My friend wanna watch the remaining of a local footie match on the bıg screen plasma here - Beşiktas VS Galatasaray.

Truth be told, I HATE FOOTBALL. I can never grasp the whole football frenzy and the basics of the game. The only bit I enjoy is when I can pratice my judgement whenever a 'foul' occurs, studying whether the player is shitting his way to earn a yellow card for his opponent. That's as far as my dream of being a psychologist goes.

Some gals love football for the handsome, sweaty players. Unfortunately I don't swing that way thus here I am in the cafe and in midst of screaming Turkish blokes, typing away on my new sexy red netbook.

I love the ambience though, there's something amusing and hilarious about men having their eyes glued to the screen, some with their mouths ajar. (Omg, Galatasaray just scored and a chubby Galatasaray fanatic fan clad in full jersey of its signature chrome and deep red just got out of the loo! Muahahaha... He must be pinching himself in the balls for missing that one!)

Oh praise God match has ended! Heading back home now! Wooo!


xo,
V

Just Another Day

I'm done with my lesson plans and now waiting for my nails to dry. I've class soon and can't bear to teach with chipped nails, I don't know for some reason I find students usually tend to scrutinise you from head to toe! The last time I had few streaks of baby pink hair, my female students spotted it right away though I had carefully stuffed it in the inner bits of my pony tail.

My first lesson today will be with this 13 year old kid, M. I like him, he's smart and he really wants to learn and that's what teachers love most. Great attıtude! Doesn't matter ıf ya slow but if you have the positive attitude, ya my favourıte student!

I still remembered the first time I spoke to M's mom. Boy, was she hard work! I heard my director telling her yea, we've found a foreign teacher to teach your kid.I was just beside my director, she was talking in Turkish so I just pıcked up the keywords and put pıeces together.

I was told before that M's dad is Irish and his mom is an Englısh teacher. So why does he need Englısh course, I asked my dırector. She told me his parents are divorced. Somehow I knew my natıonalıty would pose as a lıttle barrıer to me gettıng thıs teachıng gıg.

'Sıngapore,' I heard my dırector tellıng M's mom over the phone. Aah well, nothıng new. Everyone's dyıng for Englısh natıve teachers here and truth be told, there's no shortage of ıt. If ya blue eyed and blond, the better your appeal as an ESL teacher.

I knew the mom would wanna speak to me and true enough, the phone was suddenly passed to me.

I trıed to sound all cheery and nice and M's mom kept on askıng where I'm from. Sıngapore, Sıngapore, Sıngapore, I kept on answering. She asked ıf I've lıved in UK and I saıd no. She asked ıf I've lıved ın the States, I saıd no, I've lived in Sıngapore all my lıfe. -.-

There was a pause and I dıdn't mean to be rude when I told her Englısh ıs the offıcıal language ın Sıngapore. She was ımmedıately offended and got a lıttle hysterıcal tellıng of course she knew that, she watches the Dıscovery Channel all the tıme! Err... oh ok. Wow. She went on to say Turkısh people are not ıgnorant and they know that. Touchy aren't we.

Well I wasn't beıng a smart arse honestly. Not MANY people know that fact and certaınly not Turkısh. Hell even some of my Englısh frıends don't know that! I was just ınformıng here to ease her mınd that's all! For some reason I found ıt funny and I laughed. There was a pause. Then she laughed too. Boy, laughter sure ıs ınfectıous...or useful to dısguıse embarrassment.

Later she told the dırector that yea she was comfortable havıng me as her son's teacher. On the fırst lesson wıth M, she was there. She brought all hıs school books and proceeded on tellıng me what I should do, she sımply couldn't stop beıng a teacher. I was polıte to her and told her, no problem I know what to do and to trust me to do my job. Before she got offended and hysterıcal agaın, I put my hand on her arm and smıled tellıng her not to worry that I'd do my best. The warmth of a human hand ıs amazıng and can work wonders to break any form of hostılıty. She let her guard down and smıled, apologısıng to me for beıng too anxıous. (We called ıt 'KIASU' ın Sıngapore)

The lesson went fıne and I found myself extendıng my lesson tıme for M. It dawned to me how hard thıs lady must have worked to sıngle handedly support her chıld, wantıng hım to excel ın lıfe. I started understandıng her more.

Wokay, my naıls are almost drıed now so tıme for me to get ready for work! Cıao!


xo,
V

Do We Hardened Up As We Get Older?

As I get older, I realised not only do I have low tolerance for bullshit but I also tend to be less sympathetic and compassionate. I wonder why? Do we allow experiences to buıld up in us such that we have an invinsible layer of shield repelling anything from stirring our hearts?

I guess personally for me, as years go by, I realise the world isn't all it's made out to be. Santa Claus doesn't exist, mothers are abandoning their new born babies without a blink of an eye, that nice colleague at the corner isn't all that nice after countless attempts of stabbing your back, happy families mostly exist in Chinese dramas and nice guys (or gals) really do finish last.

Perhaps I learnt to be wiser as I get older, having experienced a chunk of what life has to offer but with that wisdom, I had to compromise my innocence and bright-eyed naivety - something which sugar coated my eyes about this world and not necessarily a bad thing.

When I was much younger, adults confused me. I used to wonder why they could be so heartless, stoic and unmoved. I remembered vowing not to grow up being one of them as I was proud of my sensitivity and compassion towards people. I remembered a family vacation trip to Indonesia back then. It was my first (and only) family vacation. I had grown up men and women on their knees begging me to buy some immitation Walt Disney necklaces from them. In Bahasa Indonesia, they told me they really needed to feed their kids back home, getting all misty-eyed. Though I knew the cheap material of the necklaces would leave a rash on my neck and the fact that I HATE Walt Disney characters, I gladly parted with my money and bought a bunch. I was happy to do so.

Then mom grabbed my wrist and told me to stop buying. Couple more of these sellers surrounded her, telling her their life stories. Looking annoyed, she just walked off dragging me along. I was angry with mom for being so unkind and rude. I even argued with her about it, it made no sense to me. I'd happily part with my money rather than buying pretty things for myself there. Bear in mind, we weren't well to do and I didn't really have much to spare.

Now in my late 20s, how things changed. Over a year here I've been in Istanbul and not once had I given a penny to the gypsies. Oh how they beg, how they sob and tell me their stories in Turkish (not that I understand), how they craddle their newborns in their dirty arms, offering a pungent smell everywhere they go but.. I still don't bulge with emotions. Sorry but I've learnt things about life that I've yet to when I was young and that is: sometimes it's a dog eat dog world and the weakest link DROWNS. I've experienced first hand how humans can be so evil and manipulative, preying on others' emotions for their gains. Though I don't see myself as a predator, I am not and refused to be taken as a prey.



XO,
V

İyi Bayramlar! Good or Evil?

This week marks the celebration of the Kurban Bayram as what is known here in Turkey. For those who are not too familiar with it, it is a celebration by Muslims worldwide to commemorate the obedience of Prophet Ibrahim for his willingness to sacrifice his son to God. That was a test of faith which he aced before God compromised and allowed him to take a ram as the sacrifical replacement instead.

During this period, Muslims sacrificed animals namely cows, goats and sheeps and feed their meat to the poor as a rememberance of God's blessings and to remember the less fortunate. It is also during this period that I see a few of 'SAVE THE ANIMALS! SAY NO TO CRUELTY! STOP THIS CRAZINESS!' messages at the wallposts of my Facebook contacts, those who aren't Muslims that is. A couple even left rather distasteful remarks about Muslims and their practices leaving some of their Muslim friends greatly offended.

Now I don't understand all these hoo-haa... I find it almost hypocritical that some people choose to profess their sudden love and passion towards animal cruelty. Hypocritical because these are the very same people who enjoy their cheeseburgers, kebabs and steaks with great gusto! Excuse me, where do those meat come from? Guess what, they don't come falling from the sky. Surprise surprise.

Muslims believe in executing minimal pain when slaughtering these animals. The animals are slaughtered along with the recital of God's name and these animals should not be subjected to unnecessary torture and cruelty. There's a technique used in slaughtering these animals to execute as little pain as possible. Another thing to note is these meat are then shared and donated to the poor.

With all these dramas going on by others about this so called cruel practice, I'd suggest for them to start researching themselves on how fast food restaurants like KFC are slaughtering their chickens. Their chickens are being electrocuted and scalded by boiling hot water. Their beaks are also being chopped off and in their slaughterhouse, the chickens are all being cooped in a tiny area with barely any room to move.

I did a lesson on animal cruelty before with my students and one of the videos we watched was on animal cruelty practiced by KFC and I was nearly in tears watching it.

Truth be told, I'm not an animal lover. I don't expect people to agree with everything a religion dictates. However, I'm big on RESPECT and it irks me when people shoot their freaking mouths off especially when it comes to sensitive issues. I could think of thousand and one different religious practices that don't make sense to me but I certainly won't publish it on a public site like Facebook in full view of my other friends of all cultures and beliefs. I respect their beliefs and I can agree to disagree. No religion preaches hatred nor cruelty, only difference is their practice and documentation.

I can however understand vegetarians expressing great displeasure at this coz to begin with, they don't consume animals for pleasure or food. I completely appreciate the rationale behind this and found their disapproval of such practices to be genuine.

If I could sıdetrack a little, this keyboard is really driving me nuts.. I just got a sexy red Samsung netbook here thus it comes with Turkish keyboard and I really have to get used to the new keyboard now coz they have lotsa strange alphabets lıke ı, ş, ö, ç, ğ, ü etc.... so if you see an undotted 'i', you know why!

Till then, iyi bayramlar and enjoy your hols!


xo,
V

Vampire Part II - All my questions answered by a 'real life vampire'.

This is an update from my previous post. I got my reply from the vampire, very quick I must say. The exact reply from him is copied and pasted as below, enjoy.



" V, interesting questions there so I will give you the answers. Yes a lot of people are as you said glitter eyed at the thoughts of being a vampire and living forever. The fear of death is the driving force behind it all. I copied your post below and my answer is below each question.


My questions, if you would kindly answer, are:

1) Do vampires have sense of humour and amusement? Having lived hundreds of years, I can imagine you must have heard the oldest joke in the book and who knows, can actually guess the coming punchline of a story.

My Answer:


I really do have a sense of humor and I guess I have heard most of the jokes through out the ages. I love the laughter of a child and I have one dog that gives me a lot of amusement.

______________________________________________

2) What about I.Ds? Do you guys carry i.ds or any form of identification documents? If you're really living your lives like an average human being, you must have been asked for your i.ds at some point of time. What about passports? How do you get them?

My Answer:


Until 9-11 Pass Ports or ID's were not a problem. Slowly but surely though people have come up that are willing to provide one with the necessary papers. It just costs a lot more than it once did.

Even diplomatic passports are available if you know where to look.

_______________________________________________________

3) You talked about killing people before. What happened when the bodies were discovered? What was it classified under, did it baffle the cops?


My Answer:

There is not a vampire who has not killed at one point in time or another. If you search on line you can find plenty of records from around the world about strange deaths.

________________________________________________________

4) Have you ever killed someone to feed yourself and stumbled upon a newspaper report about his/her death the next morning? Was there guilt in you or something you feel had to happen for survival?


My Answer:

I have had to kill to protect myself and others and it will happen again some day. Young vampires though who kill in a feeding frenzy are often destroyed both to protect the human race and the vampire race.

___________________________________________________

5) If a teenager with active acne were made into a vampire, does it mean he/she will look like that his/her entire life - acne at the same spots for hundreds and hundreds of years?


My Answer:

Little things like acne would be cured by the changing. Limbs can not be grown back. I have seen weak old feeble people changed into vampires and you have a weak vampire. Often a vampire such as this is destroyed by the other vampires.

__________________________________________________

6) Do you like how the media portrays vampires as sex symbols? Do you find it amusing or offensive and ignorant?


My Answer:

I find it funny. I know vampires who are very sexy beings but I also know vampires who are fat and ugly. Not every vampire looks like Bill on true blood or Spike on Buffy.

_______________________________________________________

7) Does life get boring having lived it all?


My Answer:

Yes I do find it boring at times but when I do I return to my roots. I love a good hunt with dogs and horses. I love to walk where history has happened. I love the low country of South Carolina. I travel there often. I visit the home of my ancestors and I am welcome there. I love to study history and have quite a collection of very old historical documents.

__________________________________________________

8) What is the best invention ever in your whole entire life?


My Answer:

It would have to be the home computer and the Space Shuttles. I would love to travel into outer space. I would love to look back at this small planet we all live on and share.

_________________________________________________

9) White men can't dance (or so they said). Can vampires dance?


My Answer:

I can dance but mostly the old dances of the old south. Every young man from my time in history was taught to dance.

________________________________________________

10) As a vampire, do you have any phobia? (aside from life after death) Do you have phobia like us humans do - of cockroaches, heights, spiders etc?


My Answer:

Cockroaches and spiders. They both still bother me.

____________________________________________________

11) Do you know of any celebrity vampires?


My Answer:

I won't out them but there are a few. And a few who were once very famous but they have moved on or even in a case or two destroyed.

____________________________________________________

12) HOW do a vampire make another vampire? What process does it entail?


My Answer:

If you watched Interview with a Vampire by Ann Rice you know exactly how. The book by the same name got it almost exactly right.

________________________________________________________

13) You claimed vampires can hear the thoughts of human beings. Supposedly if you take public transportations or so and just hearing thoughts of random people, a) what usually goes in their heads? b) What was the most touching thing you've heard?


My Answer:

A grandmother worrying about her grand children touched me more than anything I ever over heard. The man who was causing all the problems is no longer among us. That is all I will say about that.

_____________________________________________________

14) If vampires keep on multiplying and humans are sacrificed to feed them, what will happen to the world? Won't it be exhausted of its inhabitants?


My Answer:

There are not nearly as many vampires as one would think. No one I know of is going around making large numbers of vampires. I think you would really be surprised at how many young vampires never make it the first 100 years. I think I can safely say that if 100 vampires were created in the USA in this year only 1 maybe 2 will be alive in 100 years. It is extremely hard to survive as a young vampire.

_______________________________________________________

15) What are all the common things that vampires and humans have?


My Answer:

I think I can safely say that love is the most common thing among humans and vampires. Love and companionship is one thing that humans and vampires both search for. And very few humans or vampires ever find true unconditional love.


---------------------------------------------------

Thank you for your time.


My Answer:

You are very welcome. I love answering questions like these. I hope it gives a insight into our kind. Peace to everyone and I will return soon."




=========================================

Vampires Amongst Us?

Do you believe in vampires? Yes ladies, wouldn't you like to think there are a bunch of Edward Cullens walking around in this planet and the guys, don't think I don't know about your fantasies of sexy vampires with long raven hair and cleavage spilling out of their corsets!





Whatever you vision of how vampires may be, have you ever pondered about their existence? Are there vampires roaming around in midst of us human beings?

I always surf and read in bed before I sleep. Old habit. I read about anything and everything. Last night I read about an interview with a so called real life vampire. What brought about this whole vampire phenomenon? Well... you won't believe it but it was actually Kim Kardashian. (I can imagine lotsa of you going, "Huh??")

I was watching Kim Kardashian on the Jay Leno show yesterday on TV. I told Em that Kardashian told the whole world she's a size 2 (err..yea, then I must be a Size -10). Em said she probably just said it for publicity stunt, after all there's no such thing as bad publicity. Em further commented that there was a Turkish singer, Mustafa Topaloglu, who claimed he was an alien. I laughed my head off at such ridiculousness but curiosity got the better of me thus I started googling this Mustafa guy. Unfortunately almost all of the sites about it are in Turkish. Thus I started wondering about the existence of vampires.

I recalled watching a Conan O'Brien's talkshow before where he invited a young man who claimed he was a real life vampire. It was such a dramatic start as couple of men carried what looked like a heavy coffin, up the stage. I was in stitches when the 'vampire' had to unglamourously nudge and push the coffin open before he made his way up the stage! He was even wearing a pair of fake fangs! hahahaha... Needless to say Conan was kinda dissing and poking fun at him throughout which I must admit, I couldn't fault him since it was so obvious that this guy was DELUSIONAL and moronic.

Anyways all that got me googling about vampires last night. I found a site where the writer interviewed a so called real life vampire who was born in 1712 Charleston S.C. The writer said he has never met the vampire before (interview was done via email and telephone) and it was up to the readers' discretion whether to believe or not.

I must admit the interview seemed pretty convincing. Questions poured in by readers and the vampire agreed to answer them as well. I was surprised that lots of readers had glitters in their eyes, they seemed to be so enchanted by this vampire (a he by the way). Many published their emails (one even stupidly gave his/her phone number) on the public site asking the vampire to contact them and extending friendships to the vampire. Couple of them asked the vampire ways and means on how to be one as well. It all sounded so ridiculous to me, the readers more than the vampire I must say as they seemed to be worshiping the ground of the vampire! Weird.


Anyways here are some of the interesting 'facts' that I've learnt from the site:

1) Vampires are not created from birth. They started off as humans and are 'made' into vampires by other vampires. What exactly does 'made' entails, I have no idea and wasn't answered by the vampire.

2) They CAN go out during the day, even under the sunlight. Only the newly made vampires tend to be a little sensitive of the sunlight but generally, no sunlight can perish them like what most movies seem to portray.

3) They MUST feed on blood from a BREATHING human not some blood bank nor blood off animals.

4) The puncture marks made when they drink the blood out of humans will quickly be sealed by their saliva.

5) Most vampires aren't evil. They kill for survival.

6) They can hear 100 times better than humans and can read humans' thoughts. They also just have to glance at a house to know whether anyone is inside and what the person is doing. Basically they have heightened senses.

7) Some of them have human lovers who are aware of their identities.

8) Once they are 'made' into vampires, their looks will be preserved. They will retain that physical appearance for hundreds of years. Even if they go for a haircut, it will grow briskly to the length they had when they were 'made'.

9) They can be killed by having their heads chopped off or their hearts taken out.

10) They don't readily 'make' other humans into vampires.

11) Most vampires are found in USA with a lower number in Europe.

12) One vampire who had previously killed another fellow vampire is currently believed to be residing in.................. Turkey!!!! *shudders*

13) Holy water and garlic do NOT work on them so sprinkle all you want and get all smelly-breathed.





Ok that's all I can remember offhand. This morning, I woke up and found myself typing away 15 questions to ask the err... vampire on that same site. My questions have yet to be published (needs to be approved by moderator) but I'll update here if they've been published and answered by the err...vampire.

Here are my questions:

1) Do vampires have sense of humour and amusement? Having lived hundreds of years, I can imagine you must have heard the oldest joke in the book and who knows, can actually guess the coming punchline of a story.

2) What about I.Ds? Do you guys carry i.ds or any form of identification documents? If you're really living your lives like an average human being, you must have been asked for your i.ds at some point of time. What about passports? How do you get them?

3) You talked about killing people before. What happened when the bodies were discovered? What was it classfied under, did it baffle the cops?

4) Have you ever killed someone to feed yourself and stumbled upon a newspaper report about his/her death the next morning? Was there guilt in you or something you feel had to happen for survival?

5) If a teenager with active acne were made into a vampire, does it mean he/she will look like that his/her entire life - acne at the same spots for hundreds and hundreds of years? (Hey I couldn't resist asking!!;p)

6) Do you like how the media portrays vampires as sex symbols? Do you find it amusing or offensive and ignorant?

7) Does life get boring having lived it all?

8) What is the best invention ever in your whole entire life?

9) White men can't dance (or so they said). Can vampires dance?

10) As a vampire, do you have any phobia? (aside from life after death) Do you have phobia like us humans do - of cockroaches, heights, spiders etc?

11) Do you know of any celebrity vampires?

12) HOW do a vampire make another vampire? What process does it entail?

13) You claimed vampires can hear the thoughts of human beings. Supposedly if you take public transportation or so and just hearing thoughts of random people, a) what usually goes in their heads? b) What was the most touching thing you've heard?

14) If vampires keep on multiplying and humans are sacrificed to feed them, what will happen to the world? Won't it be exhausted of its inhabitants?

15) What are all the things that vampires and humans have in common?



As you can see, either I have too much time on my sleeve, too curious a human being or that I simply need a freaking hobby.

I am open to the possibility of the existence of vampires, however I'm not quite 'sold' now. The world is certainly more exciting if they really do exist but a huge chunk of me is cynical as well.

What do YOU think?




xo;
V

Smoking WEED

I got an email from my gf (no she's not some teen, she's actually substantially older than me) today for an invitation to a weed session. Yea sounds like some casual dinner date or a book club invite. lol.. She wanted bunch of us to get around at her place next week since her housemate won't be around and well, be 'happy'!

One thing I'm grateful for being me is I am NOT a follower and I do have my own ideas and opinions. I might not be as eloquent as some in expressing them but basically I'm comfortable with my own shadow and I don't succumb to peer pressure. I'm comfortable being on my own and I don't need to be surrounded by a bunch of people to feel confident and 'cool' . In fact, I'm ok with being UNCOOL. lol...

I simply told her nope, that's not my thing and I have strict principles on certain things and no to soft/hard drugs (as harmless or 'funny' as some people like to paint them) is one of them.

I tried to find out which countries legalize weeds but couldn't find any. Seems like in many parts of the world, weeds or marijuana are still illegal but of coz the tolerance towards it differs from countries to countries or areas to areas.

I don't get it, if you wanna be happy, go drink yourself silly and laugh - no one's stopping you. I always think drug users are silly and I'm still holding on to my sentiments.

Now how about that drinking session?

THAT N-word.

I had a disturbing post on my FaceBook days ago. It started off with just a simple, innocent question about HERSHEY'S.



Frankly speaking I do think the poster is out of order especially when I have my Turkish and Black friends under my contact list. It seemed maybe years of being in Turkey had indeed took a toll on him. You could just detect his bitterness and resentment behind his snide and insensitive comment.

Firstly to address the issue about Turkish - like ALL THE OTHER NATIONALITIES, there are good people as well as bad eggs amongst them. I do think Turkey wants to be under EU (European Union) and one of the possible major reason why it's still not is because of the fact that it's a Muslim country. I don't like politics, never have been so I try to keep this simple and short. I don't know why the unneccessary dissing of the Turks. I don't know why the resentment against Turks (funny, then why are you here?) or rather the well-to-do ones. The remark was simply unkind and unclassy. He was really rubbing it into their faces.

The MAIN factor why I was disturbed was his apparent ease of using the word 'nigger.' For your info, this guy (whose nationality I will not reveal) is not my buddy, nor does he belong to my circle of friends. It's just that the foreign community likes to stay close and tight to one another in Istanbul. We are all connected to one another somehow (no kidding!). We are from the same expat group and he added me on FB. He's a documentary film-maker whose films had been broadcasted on one of the major international channels. For such a supposedly intelligent and worldly man, it came as a surprise.

According to Wikipedia: Nigger is a noun in the English language, most notable for its usage in a pejorative context to refer to black people (generally people of Sub-Saharan African descent), and also as an informal slang term, among other contexts. It is a common ethnic slur.

'Nigger' by Randall Kennedy is a provocative read that studied the history of the word 'nigger'. It carried a broader and wider perspective on the defination of the the word, which is mostly associated with being a racial slur. It talked about how the usage of the word varies from person to person and some might not associate it with negativity nor find it offensive. It also touched on the limitations of freedom of speech and how as the world evolves, should certain taboo words slowly be accepted?

I have yet to read the book and must admit, it does draw me in. I think it sounds a very thought-provoking and worthy read. After I'm done with my 'The Tipping Point' by Malcolm Gladwell, I'll hunt for the book, hopefully I can find here in Istanbul. Sometimes the selection of English novels/books here can be pretty limited.

Anyways, I honestly don't give a damn about evolvement of the world or whatsoever - if something was highly offensive, it still is. If 20 years ago, someone called me a 'Chink' or 'slanted eyes', I still would be as offended before as I will now, 20 years later. 20 years is a long time and does it make something so wrong acceptable? No. If in the 19th century, the word 'nigger' is freely and casually used in novels, certainly now smarter, wiser and more racially integrated society like ours (or so that I like to believe) should know better than to shoot it off our mouths. Who decides if the negative connotation should be shed off the word? Certain not the Blacks. What then gives anyone the right to justify its usage?

There are arguments though asking why is it acceptable for the Black community to call one another 'nigger' but NOT by someone of a different race. I did ask myself that. Could it be an inside joke, an unconventional form of endearment or acknowledgement of connection? God knows but hey, my take is, don't bother giving yourself any migraine over it. If ya not one of them, shut it and respect coz each and everyone of us has his/her own social responsibility in this world...

Happy Deepavali!!!

Today's Deepavali (as what's known in Singapore) or Diwali as according to my British Indian gf, R. We went to a lovely Indian restaurant with D and N. D's American and N's Russian. I love the fact that all of us, so different in culture and nationality got together to celebrate this day specially for R. We really wanted R to have a good Deepavali since she's away from her family. It's tough sometimes to be spending festive season without your loved ones.

It was an authentic Indian restaurant called Musafir in Taksim. A modest restaurant (though not so modest prices) with beautiful Indian setting, the place was simply charming. There was even a flat screen tv at the back playing Bollywood movies. I was surprised to see quite a number of Indians dining there as well, along with their Turkish or foreign friends. For the first time, I was in a place where there was a gathering of the Indian community in Istanbul. I thought that was lovely.

As we were heading to our table, a table of Indians said hi to R. R later told me one of the guys there got real chummy and flirty with her gf days ago. Well it wouldn't be a problem had it not been the fact that his FIANCEE was sitting next to him! Seriously I don't know why men have to be such asses sometimes! I did notice another girl at their table as she was not only exotically beautiful, she totally lit up the place with her gorgeous sari, looking breathtakingly ravishing.

We ordered Buttered Chicken, Lamb Briyani, Chicken Tikka Masaala, Buttered Rice, Garlic Naan and ermm... well I can't really remember the name, it was something like Appa-blahblah Pa-blahblah. It's like a gravy with spinach. The dishes were definitely NOT disappointing, it was heavenly and sits perfectly in your stomach. It felt so damn nice to be eating Asian cuisine again, certainly once in a blue moon kinda treat.

D and N went off after dinner cos D's married (boo!) and N has a really possessive Turkish bf (whom she really needs to dump) so R and I decided to roam around Taksim looking for a nice bar that played ENGLISH SONGS. Unfortunately though expectedly, we couldn't find any so we sat at some bar for a chat.

"Excuse me ladies...," I heard as the guy who was sitting at the table next to us approached our table. R and I just looked at each other with the 'Not again!' look. Seriously it's getting exhausting the way the local lads ALWAYS try to chat up foreign gals. "Would you... come sit... me, my friend table?" he continued.

"No, thank you," I said curtly. He smiled and apologised to us for disturbing. Fair enough, he wasn't pushy. R and I were chatting again though the night was wearing us out. It didn't help that the live band was belting out some depressing Turkish tunes.

After some time, out of the corner of my eyes, I could see the same lil bugger coming over again to our table.

"Err... where are you from?" he asked. If I could get a dollar everytime I had this question thrown at me, I'd be retired by now.

"Singapore and London," we answered, hardly any friendliness in our tone.

"Aaaah.." he said,"I asked cos you know.. I think you are.." and he started making a gesture with his hand like some dj spinning.

"And what is this???" I asked him, immitating his gesture exaggeratingly.

"Pardon, my English...not good. Like you know.. I look at you... like... I don't know how to say... different. Different nationality? That's why I come... and ask," he explained smiling. I nodded and continued talking to R, ignoring him. Again he apologised us for disturbing and retreated back to his seat.

As we got up to walk to the bar area to pay for our drinks, I heard his annoying voice again, "Ladies! Ladies!!! LAddddiesssss.." I paid no attention to it and just walked ahead.

While we were waiting for the barman to collect our money, guess whose face suddenly popped out of nowhere? Yes, HIM. Again. The one who apologised to us TWICE for DISTURBING us. I'm starting to think the apology didn't really mean a thing now!

He started talking again and this time, I didn't even wanna look at his direction, whatmore his face. I heard him asked if we wanna join him and his friend to another bar or club. R politely and firmly declined and he said sorry again for disturbing (!!!) and left. -.-

We were disturbed again by other local lads on our way back to the dolmus station and one of them pissed us off. He knew we were mad and he was like,"What, you girls angry? Why? Oh my gawd. You are sad girls." I really laughed my ass off. I don't know why but I thought it was funny.

Yes, we were the sad girls...

Resentment, Hatred and Guilt

So I'm flying off tomorrow...BACK to the charming city of Istanbul. Am I psyched? No. I'm having this dreadful mixture of resentment, hatred and guilt. My 2 months break in Singapore has indeed been a roller coaster and an emotional turmoil.

Being the product of an Asian parentage in a typically Asian upbringing, my parents weren't exactly pumping their fists in the air when I first told them,"I'm leaving Singapore." Hell, they wouldn't even let me leave home, what more my country! You can imagine it must have been a shock for them as they wondered in their unadventurous and traditional heads,"But why?!"

Needless to say, their jaws were almost on the ground when I first told them I'll be going to Turkey. Turkey? Turkey?! But but but... it's a third world country. No, it's NOT a third world country, it's a developing country. Maybe it sounded crazy to their ears and I can fully understand why. They reasoned that Singapore is a good, modern country and a cosmopolitan world city and why am I giving up the priviledge to live here for a country like.... Turkey. I had a good career, not a job, a career with sparkly promising future and what on earth will I be doing in Turkey? I told dad (to deaf ears of course!) that I wanted to experience life, not be too sheltered in Singapore. I wanted to be independent and adventurous. I wanted to meet people from all walks of life and be worldly. I told mom (to another pair of deaf ears) that Singapore is way too small, suffocating and rigid. Our generation only knows how to talk about money, shopping and branded goods - that is LIFE to them. One can't grow as an individual here coz we've never really experienced life and what the world has to offer.

I remembered taking a long bus ride to Marmaris and suddenly in midst of the journey, I covered my nose, almost gagging at the horrible, offensive stench that filled the bus. "Oh my God, what the hell?!" I exclaimed in my nasal voice and pinched nose. My British gf laughed her head off and said,"It's the fertilizers, babe. You've not lived, my child!" Don't I know.

Now that I'm leaving, I'm faced with endless emotional blackmail. Dad wasn't hesitant to tell me how I'm such an embarrassment to him and how he had to lie to relatives that my previous company sent me to Turkey just coz he didn't want them to know his daughter rebelled against him to leave and see the world. Fascinating. On top of that, I've been called selfish, disrespectful, rebellious and childish. Wow, keep it going dad. He was also 'kind' enough to tell me the only way I'll be satisfied is if I won't be there at my parents' deathbeds. It's amazing how all these cruel words and accusations were thrown at me simply coz I wanna do something in MY life. This makes me even more eager to leave, hurtful as it is.

Endless tears streamed down mom's face every now and then especially when time is nearing for me to leave. I just don't understand why they can't be happy for me. If being proud of me takes the life out of them, I just ask for them to be happy for me. No, that's too impossible a thing to ask. I wondered who the selfish one is since this is MY life that I'm planning for.

I don't understand why typical Asian parents just want their children buried under their armpits. It's not unnatural for children to still live with their parents when they're still single (even if they are in their 30s) in an Asian country. That's why I believe our western counterparts are generally a more confident, independent, worldly, adventurous and risk-taking bunch. I've known of western parents who shooed their children away once they reached 19-20 years of age. Is it because they love them any lesser? NO. It's because they believe in the importance of being independent. It's a way to let their children grow, face hardship and evolve as a more mature and wiser individual after that. My western friends in Istanbul are happily working there and living theirlives to the fullest with the complete blessings of their parents. How I wish I can ever be in their shoes instead of having to feel guilty and bad all the time just coz I wanna chase my happiness and chance in life.

I simply put on a stoic face everytime dad hurls insults at me coz of this issue. He thought I've grown to be so hard-hearted but if words could kill, I would already be sprawled on the floor dying. Still, I don't ever want him to see how affected I am to his words cos of my anger and resentment towards my traditional parents. If I were born a bird, I think they would rip my wings off.

I feel sad that I have to leave without any blessings everytime I fly back to Istanbul. I feel sad that I have to witness them heartbroken and crying in the airport. However I can't deny the surging amount of resentment in me for having born with such a traditional, closed minded upbringing...


(p/s- Dad had to rush off to hospital from work today coz he was in great pain due to his prostate gland. He was discharged and scheduled to see a specialist soon. God help me decide. I'm due to fly tomorrow morning)

Ditch the SINGLISH for gawd's sake!

Lotsa debates have been going on about Singlish. Retain it or ditch it. I'd say the latter. Some Singaporeans argued that ditching Singlish is like ditching our unique identity as a Singaporean. They suddenly turned patriotic and felt so strongly about the issue. Fiery arguments and point of views were made - very passionate indeed. My say? C'mon Singaporeans - WAKE UP! *roll eyes* (Yes, it has to end off with the rolling of the eyes for that added effect)

Those of you who wonder what on earth Singlish is, clearly you've not been to Singapore cos if you've been here, there's no way you'd have missed it!

Singlish is Singapore Colloquial English. One can say it's like a melting pot of various languages like Malay, Chinese, English, Hokkien, Tamil, Cantonese, Teochew etc. See, you can't accuse Singaporeans of the lack of creativity cos to be marrying all these languages into one is indeed something! That also means it can be horribly excrutiating especially to the foreign ears. The only people who can TRULY understand Singlish are, no surprise there, Singaporeans. Anti-social? Maybe. It can also be seen as something that bonds the locals. That extra spice of local flavour. In case ya not too familiar with how Singlish goes, here are some examples:


English: Have you received your results?
Singlish: Eh, you got your results already or not?

English: How can it be?
Singlish: Why like that leh?

English: I don't care!
Singlish: I don't care one!


Those are just basic Singlish, I haven't even include those that are a mixture of Chinese dialects, Malay and Tamil - it's really gonna ruin your head! lol... Yes it's definitely not sexy, I can't imagine a hunk of a guy saying to me," I love you la!"

I'm not TOTALLY dissing Singlish. It has its own charms but really, Singaporeans if you wanna aim high and big in life (life is not equivalent to just your tiny world in Singapore), ditch the Singlish and speak English.

I think some Singaporeans are just too loyal to Singlish coz they can't be bothered to upgrade themselves to learn and use proper English. They take comfort in numbers in their country but I'm afraid we can't take comfort in numbers anymore. Look at the number of foreigners in Singapore. 1 out of 3 people in Singapore is a foreigner. They are mostly from Phillipines, China, Malaysia and Indonesia. I truly apologise if what I'll say is offensive but it's my thought and I can't deny it. Most people from these countries don't speak decent English, some non at all. What on earth will happen to Singapore?? We are a first world country yet so robbed of English education and lo and behold, English is our official and business language. Surprise surprise. The number of western expats in Singapore is also on the rise, do you think they are able to understand our funky Singlish?! Geez, it's a no brainer.

I don't speak excellent Queen's English but I do speak proper English. I can still banter in Singlish with my friends who insist on conversing in it but otherwise I rather speak English anytime. Am I ashamed of being a Singaporean? Hell no. In fact I am proud to be one and I'm proud to show to my fellow foreign friends from Turkey, USA, Britain, Australia and wherever that hey we, Singaporeans can speak proper English and it's about time we stop being associated with the 'lahs' and 'lehs'.

Sleepy in Singapore

I know it's been a while since I last wrote a post here. I frankly have no idea how some bloggers can be sooo disciplined in updating their blogs. I guess some of them received sponsorships and dough from advertisements to make it worth their while but anyways though lotsa things happened to me, I just don't have it in me to be rattling about it here.

I'm in Singapore now and have been since the 20th of August. Hmm... am I happy? Well.. no. I don't know, Singapore still has that same old stranggled effects on me. I still feel so suffocated here, I still don't feel the feeling of liberation.

I still get bored by typical endless conversations of shopping, clubs, latest brands and all those shallow and rather pointless topics. Yea it kinda annoy me at times that conversations here carry no substance nor enlightenment. Now, I'm not saying I'm such a brilliant conversationalist that keeps up to date with all the current affairs. I'M NOT. That's why it appalls me that even someone like me can get bored with all the supposed 'hot' conversation topics that apparently seem quite normal and acceptable here. (I don't wanna talk about things that interest me only to be listened to cos I do think conversation is a TWO way thing.)

I do read news, I do keep abreast of current issues, not so much of the WHOLE WORLD- that's way too depressing/heavy for me at times but mostly of Singapore. It surprises me that some young adults don't and they're still living in their own contented and selfish world, pretty much sheltered in a snow globe. I actually am glad to stay away from Singapore for a while - honestly I don't think I can grow as an individual here. I don't see how being here allows my mind to explore possibilities and challenge impossibilities, to actually be street smart and worldly.

In Istanbul I had the opportunity to socialize with so many different people from different nationalities. Truth be told, I barely have my own personal Turkish friends (language problem mostly plus the local men always tend to be more friendly than the women and I'm NOT interested to befriend Turkish men), most of my friends are fellow foreigners in Istanbul. I felt like I've stepped into another world from my 'snow globe'. I've met people who are younger than me but with such amazing life experiences from all over the world. They are so brainy and eloquent. Makes me feel that I've wasted too much of my youth NOT exploring the world and how it can really change a person's perspective. Sometimes I feel embarrassed to converse with these young people (well I'm not THAT old but hey they're years younger!)cos they seem soooo much more wordly and intelligent than me but at times I feel blessed to receive joy in their company and life stories.

I've 2 and half weeks more to Istanbul. Am I looking forward to it? YES and No. Yes cos it's good to be back there - I miss my friends, my life there and of course to start earning again. No cos mom will start bawling, tearing my heart out at the same time and the fact that winter greets me. News has it that winter in Istanbul this year will be THE WORST EVER IN THOUSAND YEARS. No kidding. Global warming. Our earth is really getting messed up just cos its inhabitants are simply nonchalent about preserving it. So yea, think winter this year's gonna kill me. Last winter was already crap as it is... it was my first winter and no it wasn't fun (except for the snowy bit hehe but hey it only snows few days in Istanbul). I was freezing my ass off, on top of that, cos I wanted to save on the electricity (DAMN EX!), I didn't switch on the main house heater thus being at home wasn't such a warm cozy affair as one would usually imagine. IT WAS HELL! I was shivering and wearing way tooo many clothings and my teeth was chattering with cold. Yup, good luck to me.

Gonna end this one now. Will try to write again tomorrow. Have a good one.



Love;
V

Tailed By A Creepy Street Kid

I was walking along Baghdad Street yesterday after catching up with my gf. I was actually looking for a birthday present for her. After I got out of Zara with nothing in hand (searching for the perfect present can be such a nightmare at times!), I decided to head home and thought of walking all the way to Bostanci instead of taking the dolmus (yellow mini bus).

There was this street kid walking near me. What I meant by street kids are those for lack of better words, beggar kids. They are a pretty common sight on the streets of Turkey. You can just spot them straightaway. They are usually clad in scrubby getup and slightly tanned.

It was quite a walk from Zara to my place. Initially I didn't really pay much attention, I knew he was walking near me but it never dawned to me he could actually be tailing me.

"Hello," I heard him say. In my heart I was like, oh damn! Urghh... It always start with a 'hello'. I walked faster and simply ignored him. He then walked the same pace as me.

"What's your name?" he insisted. I pretended to not understand and look at every direction except for his. One thing I learnt is, you should never make eye contact cos that'll encourage them more.

I slowed my pace and so did he. I sped up and so did he. He was young, maybe in his teens. He kept on tugging at the sides of his jeans when he walked, as though uncomfortable with just swinging his arms carelessly when he walked. He kept staring and looking at me. I lingered around the traffic lights while waiting for my green man. He waited for me to cross before he crossed as well. What a fuckhead.

By this time, it's been like 15-20 mins of walking and I've nearly reached my place. There was a crowd coming out of a train station nearby and I dashed in, in the midst of the crowd and he fortunately lost me. What a nightmare. I was lucky this happened in the afternoon and not when it's evening and dark. I'd have been scared shit.

Never ever underestimate street kids here. One Turkish friend of mine told me once, in all seriousness,"No matter what they've done to piss you off, whether to shout 'JAPON, JAPON!' (Japan, Japan!) or tease you or disturb you, you MUST never make eye contact with them or even talk to them or response with any kind of emotions. You have no idea how dangerous they are, it doesn't matter if they're young or not. Some of them carry weapons, do drugs and they totally have no respect for laws at all and worst of all, the POLICE WON'T DO ANYTHING."

Apparently with the laws protecting those under the age of 18, some of these kids make full use of it, resorting to violence and crimes knowing and understanding fully well the law is on their side. THAT is scary.

It wasn't my first time being tailed though the last time was some time back. I carry pepper spray with me around most of the time for safety reason. Pepper sprays are not allowed in some shopping malls here and they usually get detected when you walk pass the checkpoint upon the entrance. The security would temporarily confiscate your pepper spray, take down your name and stick it on the pepper spray. You may then collect it when you leave the mall. That's quite a fair practice I think.

I learnt it's always best to just walk away when ya asked questions on the streets especially from the street kids. It took me a while to adjust to it cos I deemed it to be rude but hey I guess it's just naivety on my part. Sometimes you just gotta do what you have to do to protect yourself, especially when ya a woman.

My next post, I'll write about THE OLD TURKISH PERVERTS or so it seems. Till then, enjoy!


xo;
V

I'M BURNT!!! *sob *sob *sob*

Went to a day trip to Gebze with E and his parents today. His parents were retirees and they used to work for the same bank (that's how they met, awww...). Bank employees and retirees are allowed to have a maximum of 10 day stay in the bank's exclusive holiday house.

The place is nice, with lotsa houses, each comprising of individual rooms. It's something like a resort. I'll type a more comprehensive post equipped with pictures after tomorrow yea? Right now, I'm just way too sore! We tanned for 4-5 hours straight and STUPIDLY WITHOUT ANY SUNSCREEN!!! I know, I know, I should bang my head on the wall right? Cos summer's been mild for me lately (24-26 degrees), I thought it would be the case today (I was wrong, it shot up to 31 degrees today after a stretch of consistent weather temperature). Thus in my desperation to get a tan, I didn't bother putting my sunscreen and I'm all PINK NOW! I think it's the first time I've really gotten burnt by the sun! Yes, first time I stupidly went tanning without any sunscreen too.

I'm burnt from my collar bone to my toe, I look like a flamingo now. Only my front profile though, I thought I'll work on my back tomorrow but looking at things now, I don't even know if I should head back to Gebze to brave the sun. Ok I'm gonna pour myself a glass of apple juice then start my reading in bed. Needless to say, I'll be dozing off shortly after. In my next post, I'll show you guys pictures of the holiday house ok??? :) Till then, sweet dreams!

xo;
V

Lights out and a Girl's Day Out

I've had no electricity yesterday for a whole 3 hours. Frankly speaking, that's quite unheard of in Singapore. The last time we've had a major blackout was more than 20 years ago. It was fun back then, being really young it was kinda like an adventure for me. We would have lotsa candles in the house, it looked almost like a romantic cult house minus the shrilling voice of mom's.

Anyways back to life in Istanbul- It wasn't that much fun yesterday. I was lucky it happened in the morning right around 9am. I was watching the comedy channel and photoshopping my photo halfway when everything blinked for a second and shut off. There goes half an hour of beautifying myself (and deceiving others) on the computer (it was a passport photo meant for an updated cv!). I just looked around the house figuring what to do next. There wasn't much choice thus I curled down on the couch reading my book.

R called up and asked me for the umpteenth time whether I wanna join D, N and her for some 'manti' (Turkish dish - dumplings with garlic youghurt) in Moda and cuppa tea by the seaside. Not a bad idea except for the fact when I first met D and N (American and English girls respectively), it wasn't that much fun. I was bored to tears cos they were talking about stuff they were in tune about thus I was pretty hesitant to join this time. However with the blackout, I figured I've nothing much to do at home anyways so I said yes.

It was pretty nice surprisingly, I think everyone enjoyed themselves. There were lotsa laughters and sharing of distaster stories on our attempts to cook Turkish dishes and not to forget spoilt students here (we are all ESL teachers). Funnily all of them scored pretty well on teaching kids EXCEPT for yours truly. I rather do adults anytime, I don't know why kids just seem to hate me, maybe they have some sorta strong 6th sense and detect the vibe that the feeling is mutual.

N just casually mentioned the fact that she's just got engaged and we were like WHAT?! I think getting married is a big thing for most women (not me though!) and there she was just casually showing her ring so nonchalent about it. lol ...Apparently the dude hid the ring in a piece of napkin and put it in her bag and she saw it and said yes. Yes that was quite sweet wasn't it. How beautiful though a marriage of 2 different cultures (her fiance's a Turkish). I think the world needs more of it.

The weather was warm and humid but the girls were complaining it was darn hot and I was saying nah, it was pretty mild. D immediately drew the conclusion that I lacked of IRON in my body. HELLO??! I'm from Singapore, the heat was nothing compared to the average temperature back home! I'm sure the English can't say the same!

Now, I can't believe how it's already JULY 2010!!! I mean geez how time flies!!! I remembered back in high school, how I was always praying for the day to end but now, I just turned '2_' (not telling my specific age) and next thing I know, it'll be the end of the year and I should already make plan for my next birthday. R has the theory that time simply flies when one is enjoying his/herself.

Well, I should get cleaning. My private student will be coming over soon and the house is in a mess. I hope the 3 year old won't cry upon seeing me. Again. Really, what's up with me and kids?! I'll save it for another post. Till then enjoy!


xo;
V

Salad? YES PLEASE!!

I've never been one of those women who order salad in a restaurant as their main meal. In fact, I smirked looking at them. They reminded me of goats with table manners.

Most women eat salad on a constant basis to lose weight. They can't afford to pile on those calories thus the safest bet will be yes, the salad. I don't condone dieting, in fact I think it's silly. It's probably an unfair, uncompassionate and biased sentiment on my part since I know I can get away with eating like a horse thanks to good genes and high metabolism (though mom's willing to bet I'll start piling on the weights once I hit 30! Yea, thanks mom).

The Turks LOVE their salads. Being in Istanbul for over 9 months (geez, and my Turkish's still rotten?!), I've to basically eat what the locals eat. Bread is their main staple food. Though I've not quite acquired the appreciation and love for bread, I've in fact, embraced the beauty of appreciating the simple yet delightful taste of...salad.

I've not replaced my main meals with salad of course. I still have my generous portions of main meals and I eat salad in between. I'll be munching on salads when I'm watching the telly, when I'm surfing, when I'm reading or with an afternoon tea with a friend.

See, the most common misconception people have is: SALAD IS BORING. Aah, this is the part where I shall enlighten you further. Before we proceed, I'll be the first to admit, I'm not a health guru. In fact, I do what I like, I eat what I love and I exercise when I want to.

Generally my diet is quite healthy I think cos firstly I don't have a sweet tooth. Junk food and those sinful chocs and what have you makes me sick to the stomach. I love my meat, I love my rice. Just like most Chinese, I don't take sugar for my tea. I can't drink coffee cos my stomach will get all queasy. I always prefer steamed or boiled meat to fried one. No, these are not a form of discipline, it's genuine preference and likes/dislikes. Anyways what I'm trying to say is, DO NOT take this post as some reliable health advice from a professional cos it's CLEARLY NOT. This is more towards enlightenment reading than informative reading yea? (Too many lawsuits going on, that I just have to be annoying and make myself real clear...certainly wouldn't want anyone suing me for fainting spells)

What are the 4 health benefits of eating salad??

1. Fiber - A high fiber diet helps to lower your cholesterol level and prevent constipation


2. For the fruits and vegetables - this helps to lower your risks of many diseases, particularly CANCER. (I also like munching on those crunchy green and fruit salads cos I'll have fresh breath after, what's not to like?!)


3. To lose weight! - Yes I could imagine women grinning and nodding in approval to this one. (Meanwhile I can't afford to lose weight unless I wanna look like a human linguine) Eating salad helps you to cut those calories. You can afford to eat them guilt free. They're good for ya!


4. To get SMART FATS - Those good fats like olive oil, avocado and nuts are good for you. Olive oil is also said to promote longevity and reduce mortality.

Oh no ladies, the benefits don't end here, you just have to do your own research that's all! Eating salads on a regular basis is a step nearer to a fitter body and nice, glowy healthy skin (THIS - I'm waiting for!) Now back to the part where most would associate salads as boring munchies, well I've got news for you dearies cos fact is... IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE!

You can be as creative as you like to spice up that salad of yours! Add in those colorful vegetables and fruits for variation and appeal! I'll tell you what my fave salad is: SHRIMP & SALMON salad with olive oil and lemon dressing...Oooh la la... (you can find one of the best at 'iSiS' restaurant in Kadikoy, Istanbul for 15lira) I go weak in the knees just thinking about it. I remembered when I was first served that, I held my breath just looking at how pretty the presentation was and I was gushing non stop how beautiful it looked much to the amusement of the waiter. I just have this passion for food and sometimes it can be a bit...loud.

To end off this post, enjoy these amazingly simple yet gloriously beautiful and healthy munchies (I still don't think they should replace main meals) ! Time to dump those triple Cs- chips, cookies and chocs!

xo ;

V

My mom passed away but I was lucky to wake up from it...

It's 4+ in the morning now and my eyes are puffy and swollen, from crying too much. Lightning is flashing non stop and the sound of thunder pierce through the silence once in a while. That doesn't help make me feel better.

I can't seem to sleep again. I'm too scared. My eyes feel tired and heavy but I'm still forcing myself to stay awake. Maybe cos I'm scared the nightmare I just had will come true...thus I'm contented to stay awake now... holding on to the moment when I know for sure that it was just a bad dream.

I dreamt I was frantically packing. Packing books and some unnecessary stuff, I recall vaguely. I was doing it under the table. Squatting under the table, just like how I used to when I was a young child.

I can't remember now but someone whom I knew, maybe a family member, was hurrying me telling me our bus was leaving soon (I couldn't be sure but I think the bus was filled with relatives and family members). She said dad was getting agitated and impatient. I've always had a fear of dad since I was a child. He instilled that fear in all of us, not through respect but through FEAR itself. Growing up, I've witnessed the nastiest side of his temper and I've seen with my eyes and have experienced first hand what anger can do to a man and how it can make his own flesh and blood resent him for life.

I was almost done packing but I had to release my full bladder so I rushed to the toilet to relief myself. Next thing I knew, my cousins were outside the toilet door, softly knocking on it, asking me to speed up as they waited for their turn.

Suddenly the whole setting of the dream changed. The house was quiet and I was alone in the scene.

Not too long after, I could hear voices, voices of mom and dad. It was loud enough for me to distinguish their voices but wasn't clear enough for me to decipher what was being said.

It came from outside our apartment. It sounded like it was near the staircase in front of my lift lobby. From the look of it, I could tell this was in Singapore. It looked different from our current flat though.

I was scared mom and dad were fighting. Again. Growing up, I was no stranger to witnessing my parent's ugly and nasty tiffs. It wasn't a fair fight most of the time. It was mostly dad bullying mom.

I rushed to get the keys to unlock the lock on my front gate of our apartment door. I had to stop the fight. I had to make sure mom was ok. I had to pull them away from the prying eyes of the neighbours.

I had difficulty unlocking the lock cos I was in such hurry to open it and my hands were shaking at the same time.

While I was still attempting to unlock the lock, I saw a glimpse of my parent's backs. They were walking extremely slow... as though dragging themselves forward with each step. They seemed lifeless. What was shocking was that they had their pants down. Their back was facing me and I could see their naked butts. The brown skin of dad's and the milky white skin of mom's buttcheeks were stained with traces of blood from what looked like wounds from being mercilessly whipped. The skin from the wounds ripped open, revealing some flesh.

My heart stopped as I tried to make sense of it all... Mom and dad looked like they were walking down in humiliation and shame, with their heads bowed down and their shoulders slumped, with no trace of life nor energy in them. It looked like they were tortured.

I didn't know how I knew then.... maybe a voice in my head told me so. Telling me that mom and dad were being punished for their children's sins.

No. No.. It couldn't be. What the hell is going on?!!!! What on earth was happening?! I had to save them, I had to.

When I finally got the lock unlocked, i pulled the damn thing off the latch with such great force. "I have to save mom, I have to save mom," I told myself repeatedly, I was starting to lose my mind.

Mom was all I could think of. It's because the most important thing in the world for me is..mom. I told lotsa people before, I'd give up my life for mom and anyone who messes with mom is my enemy. I'd give up my life to protect her or take revenge on anyone who harm that woman.

"It's no point." I turned around when I heard the sudden voice. It was my sister. Her voice was void of emotions. It was as though she knew something that I didn't. Whatever it was, I could see it broke her to the point of numbness.

"What are you talking about?" I asked weakly. I stopped at my track, trying to study her and hoping for just someone to shed answers. "I'm trying to get mom," I told her.

"You can't," she replied calmly yet it was evident something was not quite right with her. It was as though she has lost her mind. "That's not mom. That's her soul."

(I'm crying again now... trying to continue this part. It was so vivid. It felt so real) I remembered feeling stunned beyond anything I ever felt before. I felt weak in the knees like I'd just collapse anytime.

"Mom is dead." The words came from my sister's mouth. My mouth was opened. I couldn't breathe. No. What...was going on. What the heck was going on.

"New York killed her. New York killed mom," came the bizzarre words from my sister. I couldn't understand what she was saying. Lotsa things were going through my head. Was mom killed in New York? What did she mean by NY killed her? Was there a war? Was there a terrorist attack?

I ran out and at a distance, I saw the faint vision of my parents still walking as though being tormented to walk around in public with their dignity and pride stripped.

I collapsed on the floor. I knew in my heart it was true, she was dead. I screamed. I screamed. I screamed. I screamed as loud as I can, hoping the pain in my heart could be taken away. I screamed. I was on the floor screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming. I just couldn't stop. I was deranged. I lost everything. I wanted to die. I screamed. I screamed. I screamed. I had flashes before my very eyes. Flashes of regrets. Of what a bad daughter I was to mom. Of how I hated my typical Asian upbringing cos that meant I couldn't bring myself to express my love to mom when she was alive. Ooh I had too much regrets. I screamed and screamed. I wanted to die. I wanted to die. My world has died, I didn't wanna live.

I had flashes in my head too of the times I told my friends that I could never recover back to the person I was before should I ever lose my mom. I screamed and beg God to let this be a nightmare. I screamed hoping to wake up but I didn't. I cried and begged God. I begged him to wake me up from my sleep. I begged and cried my heart out. I can't lose mom. I can't. I musn't. I'll forever be a shattered and souless person. I can't lose mom.

I screamed again, so hard, hoping my pain would ease...then I woke up. It has been 2 hours and I'm still in tears now.

The thought of losing my mom is too much for me to handle. Being away from her doesn't offer much comfort now.

I'm so glad it was a nightmare. I'm still crying and shakened. What was that, a bus full of relatives and family members about? Was it to a funeral? What does this dream mean? I'm too scared to think of possibilities.

Please, I would like to hear from you. I know I have some readers here on my blog. Drop me a line or two. Till then take care and well, let us all remember we aren't immortals. Love the people around you with all your heart...while you still have them in your life. I was lucky to be able to wake up from my nightmare. But one day... I might not be that lucky.

Yes. The Birthday Girl.

I woke up today feeling a little down. Down cos I knew I'm a year older.That doesn't feel so good. I'll be reaching the big 3-0 soon and that's not fun either. I remembered an old FRIENDS episode on Digiturk channel yesterday. Rachel was celebrating her 30th birthday and she didn't take it well. There were also reminisces of the Monica's and Joey's 30th birthday and they were both equally depressed.

I dunno... it's a woman's thingy. We just wanna keep young! A man gets wiser and more charming as he gets older. But a woman?! Sure we can try to preserve our looks as much as we can and remain all young at heart and bubbly and crap but hey age doesn't lie. It's all over your ID card, whatever official forms you've filled or will be filling, your passport and in the damn memories of people close to you! In addition to that, I definitely don't wanna be one of the statistics of women who lie about their age! I have an awesome gf here who lies to any men she meets that she's 9-10 years YOUNGER. Truth be told, she could get away with it with her good genes but hey, I don't wanna be like that!!!! I think I should start practising in the mirror saying out my age in deceived confidence and ease.

My best gf here's on a sexy beach vacation in Mamaris (she's been messaging me to tell about all the studs she's met there) and my other gf has left Istanbul for good days ago. I have no one to celebrate my birthday with or to party this day with. I don't feel too bad about it considering the fact that I'm not especially thrilled to turn a year older from yesterday. Looks like it's gonna be any other day for me...

It made me smile though to see birthday wishes from friends on my facebook wall. It's the first time so many people have ever remembered my birthday, thanks to facebook. lol. I'm still checking now and then for new wishes at the same time putting myself at an 'offline' mode just so they won't know how pathetic I am on my birthday! Yes, yes, let them all think how I'm on my way now to the posh Baghdad Street to buy some fancy dress for my party tonight. I'm probably gonna curl in bed with a new novel I bought yesterday (The Help by Kathryn Stockett)....


xo
V

Yes, I've Disappeared again! lol

I know I should be updating this blog regularly, as least I'd like to but I'm kinda feeling uninspired. Summer has robbed ALL my weekday classes thus I've way too much free time up my sleeve. What did I spend my time on? Oh I dunno... being a housewife? lol... I couldn't sit around and do nothing so I usually clean the house spick and span, do all the laundry and yes sometimes all the ironing at once (usually I just iron my clothes as I need them). At times I talk a walk along Baghdad Street, looking at all the posh shops and posh people and wondering when can I ever be like them... or just spend 5 hours straight in my fave simit cafe reading a good novel.

For once I get to rest but unfortunately no work means no money thus I can't venture out so much as much as I like to! I did try to work on my Turkish with all this free time I have but geez... I still can't work out the logic of this mysterious language! I tried to study on the Turkish grammar but ended up having a headache (not kidding).

Last Sunday, not even one student turned up for my conversation class. I could fault it to the rain or their examinations. Anyways, I was waiting in class for like 4 bloody hours (it was a 4-hour lesson). I was pacing around, reading my book, surfing and getting restless basically. I couldn't leave at the 3rd hour cos I've a 1-hour class with my 10 year olds at the 5th hour (yes they turned up thank God).

Any employer with a decent character would still pay me for my hours since it's not my freaking fault they didn't turn up. I wasn't informed of it nor did I expect it. Imagine my disgust when I signed out at the end of the day only to realised the school secretary had written my working hours as 1 hour! For gawd's sake I was in your bloody school for 5 hours and I was waiting like a restless donkey for 4 dreadful hours! The secretary barely spoke English so in my halting Turkish, I asked her why was it stated as only 1 hour. She told me the principal told her to mark it as such. I guess I did look frustrated. I wasn't sure if the principal was hiding in her office like a cowardly cow cos the door was closed. The secretary advised me to email the principal about the matter. I said ok and thanked her.

I emailed the principal once I got home but it bounced. I emailed her again a day after that and it bounced too. I think I have to settle some scores with her tomorrow when I report for work! It's just plain dishonesty! The school certainly didn't make a loss over it, students paid and even if they didn't turn up, they wouldn't get their money back. So why shouldn't I be compensated for wasting my time there??! I even rejected a private class on that day cos I had to work, my time is as valuable as everyone else's!

I've always had problems with this particular principal. She acts all nice but is in fact crafty and just because she has a Master's in Psychology, she thinks she can manipulate everyone! Well, sorry, doesn't take a genius to figure out she's just taking a piss out of me! I'm kinda in a hopeless situation in a way cos even if I threatened not to report to work, I'll be at a losing end cos my pay check is still with her. Sigh... you wouldn't know the kinda shit foreign teachers have to go through here unless ya here. I'm still gonna fight for my rights though. How I wished I can just punch her right there in the face! I'm already picturing it in my head in fact.

I've to go Taksim today to collect my last pay from another school. R, my very very good friend here is off on vacation at the lovely Mamaris so I hope G will tag along.
I've never met G though we've kept in touch for quite some time. I wasn't so keen on meeting new people cos I spent most of my time here with R and we had lotsa fun but now I guess I'm gonna cheat on R and have another gf to hang out with. haha..

G has been shuttling from here to England (where she's from) non stop cos her bf (or is it fiance) is Turkish thus she's always making constant visits here. I know she's here in Istanbul now, hopefully she's free today...

Well I'm gonna do some cleaning up now. Take good care, enjoy!!!!


xo
V

Turkish Bitch, Turkish Bully!

I know I've gone MIA for some time now. Well alot happened and I've also been feeling under the weather. Sometimes depressed too...lol but well... I guess that's life, wherever you go.

I feel really compelled to blog about this story. I've met really nice Turks here. Most of the time they are nice and I'm not talking about shy, mild and nice. They generally have very strong characters and I think on the whole, I can say they aren't exactly passive people. Of cos there'll be those Turkish aunties and grandmas who never fail to get on my nerves by their 'shoving and pushing' act. These are the ones who should play for the American football teams cos they'll just push you (don't matter if ya only 46kg and almost flying over) in midst of the crowd without an utter of, "Pardon" or, "Afedersiniz" (means 'sorry' and 'excuse me' accordingly).

2 days ago, my gf and I were queuing up at this bargain shoes shop in Kadikoy, to pay for our stuff. There was a bespectacled middle age woman and an 80+ yr old grandma before us. Suddenly out of nowhere, this Turkish bitch pushed her way through and stand right in front of the cashier! Of cos my gf and I were downright pissed! The cashier told her she had to join the queue and this freaking monster simply scolded the cashier. Well it was in Turkish so I wouldn't know what she said but from her bitchy expression, I knew it couldn't be good. She looked like a bully, as she stared menacingly at anyone who dared to annoy her. Her eyes all widened, attempting to intimidate others and the bloody bitch way she rolled her eyes could easily warrant a slap!

The bespectacled woman tried to explain to her that others have been queuing and waiting for their turn and the bitch scolded the poor woman and from the horrified look of the woman, I guess few expletives had been thrown at her. Even the 80+ yr old grandma was not spared and I was thoroughly disgusted by the ugly act of this bitch face bully!

When the cashier proceeded to register in this bitch's items on the cash till, I got pissed. I told the bitch, "Excuse me, we queued up and came first." That was it. Just a matter of fact tone and civilised. Of cos I did use hand gestures as I speak just in case this bitch couldn't understand. She stared at me, and said, "Yea ok!" and waved her hand at me rudely, like 'yea whatever' manner. My gf and me stared at each other in disbelief at her sheer rudeness and said,"Omg, what a freaking bitch, such rudeness." I was telling my gf that the bitch had no decent manners. Well all these was done right in front of her, not sure if she understands.

The bitch huffed and puffed and stared at me with dagger look. Honestly she looked like she was going to bash me up and she really looked like she's capable of it. Her eyes widened threateningly and she stared at me with quivering lips, as though trying to contain her explosive temper. I did tell myself if she hits me, I'll hit back, I don't know anger can make a person capable of anything I guess. I stared back at her right in the eyes, I won't be cowed by this cow face bully. She muttered something in Turkish and then I heard THAT word. "FUCK" thrown in her Turkish gibber.

I stared at her hard and said, "Fuck you." She was boiling with rage at this time and I was honestly just waiting for her to punch me. Her face was just maddening with rage as she continued having the eye contact battle with me (yes, all this happened in front of the cashier right in midst of the crowd!) and her pupils deepened with fury. She never batted an eyelid and continued staring at me for ages and I snapped at her,"What are you staring at??"

This cow face bully reminded us with a tinge of threat in her message,"YOU ARE IN TURKEY."

Ok, yes I know I've heard that a million times. Ya in Turkey, don't mess with the Turks or you'll pay for it. How does that excuse her uncivilised behaviour?? Never mind her attitude towards me, how does that excuse her scolding that poor 80+yr old grandma?! She was nothing but a bully and she expected everyone to let her have her way! She looked like those hooligans with very mean face, bigger size than me and older than me for sure. I was a confrontational person in Singapore but I've really mellowed down since I got here. In fact I've never lost my temper since I got here but I think this bitch face pea brain moron is WAY TOO MUCH!

"Yea, we're in Turkey, so?" said my gf. Not wanting too much dramas, the cashier who was also annoyed with her, just asked her for the money and she took her stuff and left.

When my gf and I were done with our payments, I spotted the bitch with another of her chunky friend smoking in front of the shop, I bet waiting for us. I must be honest at this point I'm thinking,"That's it. These chunkies are gonna wallop me and break me into half." Hahahaha... Nothing happened, they stared and walked off. lol

I know what I did might not be the wisest thing considering fights happened ALOT here. Singapore is still alot more tame and mild compared to Istanbul. I've seen couple of fights on the streets and yes they can get BLOODY and MESSY. I've seen my male students showing me stab wounds and laughing it off. I've seen girls throwing punches at each other at the private college I taught briefly here before. It's NOT a good idea to mess with the locals especially if you're a foreigner but I just can't stand acts of bullying. That's the most despicable thing ever and I guess what really irks me most is her blatant disrespect towards everyone even the elderly.

The incident certainly didn't poison my thoughts of the Turks though. I've met way more nicer Turks here than the bad eggs so I'll just let it go. I've lots more stories to update. Will do so soon! xo